By: Jason Giacchino
Email: offthepegs@atvsource.com

And This Is Only Practice?!

I suppose that its probably not natural to seek entertainment that could double as punishment when combined with 90 degree weather and humidity so high that it becomes impossible to tell whether your shirt is damp from the air or the instantly gathering sweat. So is the off-road life, and although it must look pretty silly to outsiders, New Yorkers understand that summer is short; A few missed riding sessions and some clever excuses may wind up costing an entire motocross season. The rewards to a good training effort are immediate on the track come race day, and my riding buddies and I figured this past Saturday was ideal to begin the training process as the off-season was plenty sufficient time to get the ATV's dialed in for the local racing circuit. It would be a good opportunity to focus on our endurance, stamina, and overall toughness.

Unfortunately, it didn't go exactly how we envisioned it.

Mistake 1: Underestimation. When the thermometer reads 92 degrees in the shade and the windows make a creaking noise due to the rapid expansion of the walls, its probably not the best idea to plan a solid day of outside physical torture. Although our thermometer doesn't elaborate on this factor, the humidity level only added to our exercising poor judgment by making the heat feel heavy, exhausting, unbearable.

Mistake 2: Too much determination. Considering most of us had been waiting since winter to display our new riding gear in effort to impress one another, there was an odd desire to wear to full sleeved jerseys, tucked into heavy Kevlar pants, accompanied by tall stiff boots, padded gloves, helmets, goggles, and plastic chest protectors. Truth be told, getting dressed was nearly exhausting enough and could have proved more than most could handle even if we were simply to gear up and lie next to the pool in a lounge chair.

Mistake 3: Ignorance. Fantasies of winning races rarely include such mundane realities as spending most of the afternoon loading and unloading the quads onto the back of pickup trucks, mixing 2 cycle oil into the gas cans, changing spark plugs, adjusting chains, and of course, my personal favorite deleted reality: Kick-starting the quads to life. Being that today nobody's ATV wanted to fire on the first, third, or even seventh kick, it was only natural that we should gear up from head to toe before staring the procedure. Three of us needed breathers and Gatorade breaks before there was a single vehicle running, the remaining two weren't there to ride anyway.

Mistake 4: Under-preparation. There is no such thing as having too much water on hand on days like this. Its too bad nobody felt like carrying that extra gallon through the air-conditioned supermarket.

Mistake 5: Leaving the air conditioned supermarket.

Mistake 6: Missing the obvious. After turning the fuel petcock to the ON position resolves two of the quads mysterious starting problems. The third was a fouled plug.

Mistake 7: One step forward/ two steps back. Gearing up to take a stab at the kick-starter then gearing down to sip a sports drink. Before long all concepts of fashion were lost to heat exhaustion, layers of gear are shed then tossed aside forsaking safety and in many cases dignity and pride in the process.

Mistake 8: Operating as a group: By the time the last guy is ready to go the first guy finds a lever that needs adjusting or a chain that needs a quick greasing. The group, in effort to practice and stage a race together, ends up working against itself for several exhausting days. Note: Due to dehydration the term days actually refers to minutes but makes for a better story.

Mistake 9: Getting out of bed. By the time everyone had their quad dialed in exactly how they wanted, their riding gear securely fastened, and their beverage supply exhausted it was time to begin hammering laps at the dusty practice track. I find the thought of riding wide open, under the relentless sun, over ruts, whoops and across massive triples to be mind-numbingly torturous but decide to keep it to myself.

Mistake 10: Keeping it to myself. “Hey maybe we should do this next week.” Someone says from behind the foggy lenses of their goggles. “Great idea.” Fills the after noon calm like a chorus.

Mistake 11: Backtracking. The remainder of the afternoon is spend undoing the preparation of the early part of the afternoon. Quads are loaded/unloaded. Gear is stripped in sweaty layers and its back to the store for refreshments. At one point I consider jumping into the pool while fully dressed (boots and all). Its only after I discover that I don't have a pool that I seek shelter from the apparent delirium that is setting in.

Mistake 12: Sharing too much information. Out of a combination of embarrassment and fear of our competitors gaining an advantage on our secret training regimen, we all agree to keep this story under wraps. This especially includes using it as source material for a column on a well-respected web site . So if you happen across a bunch of guys passed out in their riding gear looking for a pool that doesn't exist, you didn't hear this from me.

Besides, they're not really mistakes if you learn from them, right?