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By: Jason Giacchino
Email:
offthepegs@atvsource.com
Motivation, ATV Style
Today's topic arrives to us from a motivated
female reader who has taken the time to inquire:
“Why is it impossible to get my husband to help
out around the house, yet there is no limit to his
motivation when it comes to quads?”
I believe the answer to this question is far
more complicated than a non-certified, unofficial
marriage counselor such as myself should even begin
to tackle here, yet I feel the desire to give it
a try (as since this is a quad related topic I,
like your husband, have no limit to my own motivation).
To answer, I must first provide some background
information regarding the human species.
There are males and there are females. I will
not get into the specific differences in mental
outlook due simply to the fact that there isn't
space in the ATV Source server to complete the list,
but I will gladly provide the following insight:
If it was possible to attach wheels to the broom,
exhaust pipes to the dust pan, or a custom paint
job to the stove, odds are your husband would show
a drastic turn around in terms of domestic interest.
But alas.
There is hope however for your grim situation.
The secret is to balance household chores with ATV
related motivation.. Perhaps labeling this technique
something like AT-Vation if you wish to be cute
at parties. Some examples include the following:
You: “Honey, the stairs need to be vacuumed.”
Husband: “Boring.”
You: “Just like I feel when we're at the dealership
and you have to sit on every quad on the showroom
floor. Guess you'll have to go by yourself next
time.”
Husband: “Where do we keep the vacuum cleaner again?”
Or:
You: “Dear could you lend a hand in preparing
dinner?”
Husband: “After American Chopper.”
You: “Okay, well after dinner you and I can share
a wonderful Lifetime movie over a box of Kleenex.”
Husband: “Well there is this one recipe I've been
wanting to try.”
Even more importantly however is that you familiarize
yourself with the reality that men and women view
the same world entirely different on certain issues.
A friend of mine who just so happens to be a psychologist
(and just a few credits shy of earning the degree
to prove it) claims that men cannot be held responsible
as genetics factor heavily into our ability to make
decisions.
Male lab rats, for example, when subjected to
a similar situation chose pushing a little plastic
tractor around their dwelling 9 times out of 10
in favor of organizing the cedar chips at the bottom
of the cage. Interestingly enough, my friend observed
that if rats had couches in their cages, this is
where the male would wind up sleeping after the
experiment's conclusion.
What does this all prove? Well nothing other
than the fact that lab rat behavior makes a good
excuse for men all over the world and that my friend,
while earning a solid F on the experiment and a
night's detention as well, shouldn't be clearing
a space on the mantle for his psychology degree
just yet.
In summary, just keep in mind that if it is quads
that motivate your man, don't be afraid to integrate
them subtly into his daily routines and sit back
and watch how ambitious he becomes. You would be
surprised how ambitious men are capable of becoming
with the proper motivation. Just take me for example,
I finished writing this column sweet heart- just
like I promised. Can I go riding now?
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